Strive for higher self-esteem

Excerpt: Should We Strengthen Our Sense of 'Self'











Q: Psychotherapists tell us we should have a healthy sense of self. Should strengthening our sense of self be part of Buddhist practice?

A: People working in the field of psychology often speak of our having a sense of self. But when there is a self, one tends to compare it to other selves. Out of that comparison come the ideas of low self-esteem, high self-esteem, inferiority, superiority, and equality. Low self-esteem is considered to be detrimental. We're told to strive for higher self-esteem. But high self-esteem can also be harmful. The complex of superiority brings unhappiness. It's not a compliment to say, "He's full of himself." The person with high self-esteem can make himself and others suffer. The desire to be equal, to be "just as good as" someone, also brings unhappiness. Only the person who is empty of self is happy; he has no jealousy, no hatred, no anger, because there is no self to compare.

According to the Buddha's teaching, the self is the foundation of sickness. There are many negative mental formations; when they manifest they make us and others suffer. And there are many positive mental formations that can improve our quality of being and increase our concentration and insight. We practice in order to strengthen these positive mental formations, rather than to strengthen our "sense of self." The practice of mindfulness will help these energes to manifest, and you will have a better equality of being... Mindfulness is the energy that helps us to be truly present. When you are truly present, you are more in control of situations, you have more love, patience, understanding, and compassion. That strengthens and improves your quality of being. It can be very healing to touch your true nature of no-self. Psychotherapy can learn a lot from this teaching

- Thich Nhat Hanh from Answers from the Heart: Practical Responses to Burning Questions (Parallax Press)

Received in The Daily Enlightenment's weekly Buddhist email newsletter 30.04.09.


When I first read this I was struck by a couple of things that this seemed to contradict.

• I wasn't entirely in agreement with the apparent definition of "self-esteem" being used, I tend to view "self-esteem" as the view or opinion we hold of our own value, with little reference or comparison to other people. Obviously it will be relative to others to some degree, but not particularly in the sense of feeling we are better or worse than someone else.
  

• In teachings I have received through the Western Chan Fellowship, including those of Master Sheng Yen, the instructions have been that we must first gather the mind before we will be able to transcend the mind and a state of no-mind might arise. This is often related to our sense of self in that it is first necessary to gain a clear and strong sense of self ("a healthy sense of self") before we are able to transcend this and a state of no-self might arise. Awareness starts with the self, then the question of what this "self" is follows. (However, to be clear, the underlying motivation is never to gain a stronger sense of self.)

These were first reactions though and on further reflection, the second paragraph really pulls it all together for me and I can see that what TNH is teaching doesn't really contradict the teachings I have received. I appreciate how he distinguishes the ideas of negative and positive mental formations in the Buddha's teaching from the idea of self and I find this has a valuable sense of clarity.

I also re-examined my ideas around "self-esteem" and noticed that my first reaction was a defensive response to the challenge of TNH's words. Actually I am fully in agreement with what he teaches and have in fact reflected on this before. Low self-esteem and high self-esteem are both forms of self-cherishing.

What I take in conclusion from this excerpt is: "Mindfulness ... strengthens and improves your quality of being."

[I think this is probably also a good reminder that reading an except from a book doesn't necessarily give the whole picture being presented!]

Being Peace

Excerpt: If You Can't Smile, You Can't Help Others Smile

In the peace movement there is a lot of anger, frustration, and misunderstanding. The peace movement can write very good protest letters, but they are not yet able to write a love letter. We need to learn to write a letter to the congress or to the President... that they will want to read, and not just throw away. The way you speak, the kind of understanding, the kind of language you use would not turn people off. The President is a person like any of us.

Can the peace movement talk in loving speech, showing the way for peace? I think that will depend on whether the people in the peace movement can be peace. Because without being peace, we cannot do anything for peace. If we cannot smile, we cannot help other people to smile. If we are not peaceful, then we cannot contribute to the peace movement.

I hope we can bring a new dimension to the peace movement. The peace movement is filled with anger and hatred. It cannot fulfill the path we expect from them. A fresh way of being peace, of doing peace is needed. That is why it is so important for us to practice meditation, to acquire the capacity to look, to see, and to understand. It would be wonderful if we could bring to the peace movement our contribution, our way of looking at things, that will diminish aggression and hatred. Peace work means, first of all, being peace. Meditation is meditation for all of us. We rely on each other. Our children are relying on us in order for them to have a future.

Being Peace (Thich Nhat Hanh)

Quoted here.